“Give me a smile!”​ A review of the Trump years

It is 2024. This week, America will elect a new president. Donald J. Trump has announced that he wants to focus on running his media empire, which his sons have spent the last eight years building. TrumpNews is now the most watched news network in the world, guaranteed free of fake news. In the election, Michelle Obama is running against AlphaMind4, Alphabet’s governance AI, which is leading in the AI predictions. (We don’t do polls anymore).

So, on the eve of the first artificial intelligence system being elected to run the world’s most powerful nation, let’s review the Trump legacy.

Last Friday, the Dow Jones closed at 64508 and the Nasdaq at 27820. No one saw that coming! It is of course due to the fact that most profits are now made by a handful of companies who control 95% of the global economy. The broader indices are still lagging far behind. America has reduced its debt to negligible levels. Americans are richer than ever.

After a bumpy ride in 2017-18, during which the Trump administration dismantled most government agencies, the president finally enacted the “Made in America Law”, which mandates that all products sold in America must be produced here, with exceptions granted only to a handful of high-end robotic systems and advanced medical organ replicators. Thousands of companies rushed to set up automated plants. Robots now make the vast majority of all goods. Autonomous ground and personal areal vehicles make up 80% of traffic.

The unemployment rate stands at 68%, except it has been renamed the Happiness Rate. Everyone receives a universal basic income of 80 Trumps a month, financed by the continuous rise in stocks and the Trumpchain trading algorithms (based on blockchain) which link the profitability of America s largest companies, SiemensGE, Apple, Goldman Sachs, Tesla, Nestle-Kraft-Heinz (NKH), Boeing, Green and Alphabet, to the basic income of citizens.

The biggest controversy of the Trump years, replacing the dollar with the bitcoin-based Trump, which led to riots in several cities, is now a distant memory. Most people pay their bills using the TrumpPhone, made by GEFoxconn at their fully automated Ohio plant. It is still called a phone even though it is strictly speaking an implant.

The war raging in Europe and the Middle East is being kept under control very effectively by American drones and battlefield robots. NKH food replicators have been installed in most cities, alleviating the suffering of the civilian population. Mac and cheese is the cheapest item on the menu, but since June 2022 the replicators are also able to make all kinds of artificial meat. Lab-grown meat has almost replaced meat from animals, except in the many Aussteiger counties, kibbutz-like communities which refuse all artificial food and insist on killing animals.

Millions have starved in the Arab world where rising temperatures due to global warming and the revolutions after the collapse of the oil industry have wreaked unfathomable havoc. As it stands, Persia (formerly Iran) is likely to swallow up not just Afghanistan and Iraq-Syria, but also the Arab Peninsula within a few months. Further advances will likely be kept in check by the Eastern Drone Wall, the same defense technology that has helped to protect the Balkans and Europe from refugees since 2020. Trump has called the walling-off of violent Islam his greatest foreign policy achievement.

All borders with the USA are permanently closed. Drones shoot down any aircraft approaching American airspace; underwater barriers prevent the incursion of ships into US territorial waters. The only ships occasionally allowed in are those from Germany and Taiwan, delivering advanced robotic systems the US is still not capable of manufacturing in sufficient quantities, medical robots, and of course semiconductors. After the success of the Mexican Defense Drone Barrier, which has effectively blocked all traffic between the two countries, the Northern Drone Wall with Canada has come online in 2022 and is operating satisfactorily.

American imports have fallen to four million Trumps a year as everything is manufactured using robots and molecular printing systems or MPS in giant plants, the largest of with, owned by SiemensGE, produces almost 90% of all non-food items. By recycling materials and running entirely on solar energy, the so-called GiantMPS near Atlanta has reduced the cost of living to 15% of universal basic income. Food is entirely free, grown in large-scale solar-powered hydroponic farms or made by SiemensGE’s ubiquitous hydrocarbon replicators.

The European Union collapsed in 2018 after the calamitous Frexit decision. The bombing of the Angela Merkel Memorial Mosque by radical members of the now-governing AfD was the main story of 2023. It is universally thought that the rapid rise of nationalism in Germany won’t be a problem. As Trump put it, “It’s different this time. This time we got drones. Many drones. Fantastic drones.”

Since 2021, Green Industries has been part of the Dow Jones and is now the largest purveyor of natural and artificial marijuana (in pill and powder form) to the world. The stock is largely responsible for the meteoric rise of the index since 2022. It contributes 1/2 of the budget for the American Basic Income Social Scheme or ABISS.

Advances in medicine mean that most diseases have been eradicated. Bacteria, viruses and cancer cells are now killed by nanobots in the bloodstream rather than antibiotics or chemicals. Viral therapies, gene therapy, and the Trump Genetic Determinism Project, or “TrumpGene” have greatly enhanced the overall health of the population and eliminated almost all hereditary defects. The average life expectancy has surged to 112 years. There are only two thousand doctors left in the country, the remainder of medical care is being delivered by IBMWatson systems and Walgreens’ AIMed stations.

The Trump Entertainment Network has acquired all American film and TV studios, consolidating them into the world’s largest media organization. TEN is responsible for almost all VR movies now. Actors have been replaced by computer-generated personas. Artificial intelligence systems predict which movies and actors consumers will like and write scripts and generate actors accordingly. The most popular TV series, Melania Live, now in its fifth year, is the only show left featuring a real human.

Mark Zuckerberg is still in jail, but the next president will probably pardon him. The now defunct Facebook, unwilling to censor news and posts, was shut down by the Trump administration in early 2019. Its successor, the VR-based TrumpWorld never really caught on, but with so much weed in circulation and VR movies and games accessible for free in thousands of TEN recreation centers around the country, social media are no longer important.

Autonomous crime-fighting drones have been deployed around the world. They identify violent behavior, agitation, and acts of war, and take out the perpetrators on the spot using electromagnetic rays which keep the bodies intact. Despite our ability to grow any organ from stem cells, these organ donations are still popular in retarded countries for cost reasons. Retarded countries is Trump’s preferred term for countries not in line with American technology leadership.

China, which went bankrupt in late 2021, is slowly emerging from its Big Crash and will soon hold its first democratic election. Two post-Leninist AI personas, TencentMind and MingMind, are standing, with TencentMind predicted to win by a landslide. The human leadership of the Communist Party, “The Core”, calls MingMind the crowning achievement of Chinese science and the realization of the Communist dream–although it is essentially a knock-off of AlphaMind2.

Incidentally, China is the only country where marijuana is still banned and a local alternative, lecao is popular. It has replaced tea on a large scale and its active ingredient has also been added to the water supply. Unsurprisingly, China’s unemployment rate stands at 86%. All necessary goods are produced by AliBuild in its giant factories. China is leading the world in the adoption of solar energy, it’s rivers are now of drinking water quality. Most Chinese are busy writing poetry and creating pottery. Like America, the country has been closed to all new arrivals and walled off by the very same drone wall technology pioneered in Europe. It is however made by Alibaba and called the “AliWall”.

After the great famine of 2020, NKH replicators solved the world’s hunger problem in countries that are willing to adopt the technology. India, having refused to allow the replicators, has been decimated by drought and hunger and is in negotiations to be permanently administered by the Microsoft Humanity Foundation, which has a good record of running countries unable to keep up with robotics and artificial intelligence. As of September this year, the MHF and its Governance AI Cortana are running over 100 countries and, of course, the United Nations.

I am writing this in front of the newly opened Tibetan Embassy in Washington, a magnificent replica of the Potala, 3d printed in only four days. To my right is the 120-foot tall Trump statue with the famous inscription “In Trump We Trust”, which is increasingly used by Trump supporters as a greeting. Across the street is the Embassy of California. It’s basically a small booth with a direct link to DeepCali, the Google algorithm which has been running California for six months now. Semi-independent California, comprising the former states of California, Oregon, Washington, and the city of Las Vegas, is the only part of the US where independent news networks are still operating and homosexuality is not illegal.

So, all in all, eight glorious years for the American Empire! Trump has kept his promise and made America great again, in fact, the greatest nation on Earth. People are healthy, happy, and permanently high.

You are reading this on Trumper, the world’s primary news source, formally known as Twitter. Don’t forget to follow me at @MHiesboeck. Of course, I no longer have a human body, but uploading my mind to a robot which looks like a young Ryan Reynolds was the best thing I ever did. Tomorrow I will be boarding the Elon5 Shuttle and start my new life on the Mars. I’m really looking forward to it! Stay tuned for some great reporting from the red planet! In Trump we Trust!

Published by Dr Martin Hiesboeck

Futurist, Marketer, Policy Advisor for Companies and Government Head of Blockchain and Crypto Research at Uphold and CEO of Alpine Blockchain Consultants Zurich - London - New York - Taipei

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